England’s Dumbest Coin Criminals

[Proper Dodgy Two Pounds - image reblogged from www.mjt.me.uk]
[A Proper Dodgy Two Pound with a Real One - image reblogged from www.mjt.me.uk]
  We all know there are plenty of counterfeit coins out there and the chances are that you have seen articles on this subject before.  However, here is a unique slant on it all where we ask the question –
‘Why are forgers so inherently stoopid???’
A Realistic Colour
  If you are going to the effort of faking coins, then getting the colour right is pretty fundamental stuff.  And with two pound forgeries it is evident that the majority of crims are proper crap when it comes to choosing the correct hue.  Most fake 2’s are either far too pale or far too orange.  They are also (thankfully for us honest folk) extremely easy to notice.
The Correct Weight
  All coins have a specific weight.  Again this is really basic stuff.  So why the hell do people forge coins and use metals that are in no way heavy enough to do the job????  And this bit would also play a part in…..
[Another Prime Example - image reblogged from www.coin-mech.co.uk]
[Another Prime Example - image reblogged from www.coin-mech.co.uk]
The Right Tone
….because if the wrong alloy is used, then a coin will sound completely wrong when it is dropped on a table or shop counter.  This kind of thing is a serious give away if you are planning on using duffers to pay for your weekly groceries.
‘Minting’ Technique
  British coins tend to have a crisp, clear picture of Her Royal Highness upon them.  So why do so many fakes barely have a clear impression of an effigy at all?  And some are so bad they appear to carry an image of the Queen with either an ingrowing top lip or a goatee.
  C’mon guys….. shop keepers and bank staff tend to pick up on this kind of thing pretty sharpish.
Choice of Design
  There are certain designs that you really shouldn’t fake on a coin, especially nowadays when virtually every man and his dog is a collector.  Safe waters would be the Shield Section on a fifty pence or Technology on a two pound coin.  Well, at least that is the conclusion you would come to if you were reasonably smart….
  It is a bit mind boggling why thieves will often copy stand-out commemoratives such as Mary Rose or King James Bible.  For God’s sake, do these people have any brains at all?  Why not simply fit your fakes with loudspeakers that shout ‘Fake coin!’ and be done with it?
  If you are a smart criminal then you are going to concentrate on the most valuable denominations.  You wouldn’t even give time of day to low end coinage.  Unfortunately (as we have already learnt during the course of this article) it would appear that most counterfeiters aren’t real bright…..  Therefore we also have fake five, ten and twenty pence coins in the system.  Wowsers, now that really is dumb!
  So there you have it, we may have fake coins on the loose but the good news is that most can be spotted a mile off.  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is down to so many of our forgers being mentally challenged.  So, thank goodness for small mercies.  I bade you good night :)
© Article and images (except where stated) copyright Mik Smith 2019


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