[Candy in a Jar by Tjalf Sparnaay, 2012 - image reblogged from salomeartventure.com]
(Article written in the style of a children’s story – simply to get more traffic! I mean, if it works for others then why shouldn’t it help my blog?)
Once upon a time, in a faraway land stood a Peppermint Palace - and inside this was a Royal Mintiness Factory. As the name would suggest, the owners of this were in the business of manufacturing minty sweets (I mean, why on earth would they trade in anything else with a title like that?). However, after creating and selling their minty wares for lots of years they decided it would be necessary to amp things up a bit. After all, everyone who worked for this mighty mint establishment had pet gerbils - and rodent food was jolly expensive these days.
The Minters (who ran the Royal Mintiness factory) came up with a very clever way of selling far more mints and lozenges than is usual. They would make lots of lots of magic sweets (but still market them as ‘mints’) in the shape of popular children’s characters. However, these would not be available in the usual corner shops; instead the Minters would sell these exclusively on their website…. for eye-watering amounts of money. Everyone simply adored soppy kids’ stuff so they wouldn’t be able to resist these special ‘purchase only’ sweeties. And if they only supplied a minimal amount of their goodies to corner shops peeps would be forced to buy these magic mints online! More units would be sold every week and the gerbils would have so much food they would end up getting proper stuffed. Yup, the entire plan was a stroke of genius and everyone knew that mintophiles weren’t real bright anyhow - therefore there would be no chance of the crafty Minters ever getting rumbled.
Unfortunately, things didn’t pan out quite as planned…. People in the local town weren’t as stoopid as they looked and took umbridge to this new marketing strategy. Why should they pay so much more for ‘magic’ mints???? And why had the Minters purposely manufactured them to look like characters from cartoons? They knew full well that kids would continually plague their parents to buy them? Not only that; some people didn’t even have wi-fi in the town. What about those mint-hungry individuals??? It was a very, very greedy way of going on and the townsfolk weren’t in any way impressed! In fact, they were so cross that they marched to The Peppermint Palace right there and then and demanded that things go back to the way they were before.
The Minters were very frightened when they suddenly found themselves confronted by so many disgruntled customers. But they stood their ground and patiently explained their motives. They went into great detail telling the townsfolk how worried they had been about managing to feed their pet gerbils. The people from the town listened patiently… they then decided there should be a general meeting between themselves and The Minters. After all, someone had to be mature about all of this. There was no point getting cross and causing a big old stink. The best way of sorting things out was to all sit around a table (or perhaps another large piece of furniture) and discuss the matter like grown-ups.
So…… the next day (when everyone had calmed down a bit) there was a big proper-job meeting at The Peppermint Palace. The Minters had their say and then the townsfolk voiced their opinions. And the result? Well, a compromise was reached. The gerbils clearly needed a regular supply of food…. But the peeps from the town also needed a regular supply of minty treats – and not just eMints either. So it was agreed that mint production would go back to normal apart from a couple of ‘special edition’ lozenges each year (occasional characters/shapes such as ‘Imperial Irene’ and ‘Friendly Fisherman’ were deemed as being acceptable). This way The Minters could feed their furry friends and their customers could still afford their humbugs - all without anyone getting proper skinted in the process.
And they all lived happily ever(ton mint) after.
© Article and images (except where stated) copyright Mik Smith 2019